“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.” Forest E. Witcraft
As parents, we play a major role in the right upbringing of our children.
For this reason, I am allowing myself to ask you a few harsh but crucial questions:
⁃ Have you ever wished for a different child?
⁃ Have you ever dreamt of a special child?
⁃ How many times have you tried to force a specific hobby, activity, major, career path, profession, or even community on your child?
In case any of these questions resonate with you, please dare to ask yourself, for once:
⁃ Why do I wish for a different child? What is wrong with mine?
⁃ What does “special” mean to me? And why?
⁃ Why do I have this urge to impose one or more of these aspects of life upon my child?
Now, before taking the time to reflect on that, consider what comes next in this article, as it might be an eye-opener for you, and provide you with a new perspective about the whole situation.
The moment a new baby is born, the same universal question pops up: “Who do they look like?” and the process for determining the parent-offspring resemblance begins.
At this stage, the physical appearance will be the main target. The stronger the resemblance is, the higher the pride will be.
During early childhood, the child’s personality starts to emerge. Since the parents are the main contributors to the development of their child’s likes and dislikes, they have the power to influence their preferences.
But, with great power comes greater responsibility.
Sadly, most parents put a lot of energy and effort into changing their child’s personality instead of nurturing and shaping their temperament.
Even though their behavior is unintentional and emotion-driven, this does not mean that they will not bear some unfortunate consequences.
As a parent, you must seek the “unmasked reason” behind any action you make, any decision you take, and even any advice you give related to your child because it will affect their entire future.
Self-awareness will help you discover that you have fallen into the trap of perceiving your kid as a small version of yourself. You have been working so hard to mold them in a certain way to fit your expectations instead of serving their benefit. You might also realize that you have not been looking to conform your child’s behavior to common ethical standards or values as much as you have been pushing them to comply with your judgments towards life.
Your child should not abide by the rules created out of your fears, your uncertainties, your disappointments, and your struggles. You must be careful enough to pass only the wisdom and give them the space to learn their lessons from their own experiences.
Once you reach this stage of clarity, you will be on the right track to raising a unique child.
Keep reminding yourself continuously:
My child is not me.
My dreams are not their dreams.
My life calling is not theirs to answer.
My potential must not be compared to their potential.
My innate talents, skills, and gifts are granted to me to serve my mission in this world. They have their missions to take care of.
Every newborn is a Masterpiece of God’s Creation.
Your role as a parent is to be their leader, their role model, not their judge.
Make sure to always provide them with the right support and unconditional love.
Embrace their individuality.
Celebrate their uniqueness at every stage of their life.
Never hold them responsible for what you have missed out on in life. On the contrary, help them avoid such a burden by supporting them to reveal who they are, build on their strengths, accept their weaknesses, and most importantly, lead a life aligned with their values from a young age.
Parenting is not meant to be an easy job. It is critical. It is the most sacred mission that could have ever been assigned to any human being on earth because it helps in shaping the future of the whole world.
Luckily, many professionals from different fields are dedicating their time nowadays to helping out families to thrive.
Many tools and assessments have been created to support parents and children during this journey of self-awareness.
If you are a parent who is keen to celebrate your child’s uniqueness, then never hesitate to reach out to us.
We are always more than ready to play our role in making the world a better place for our offspring to live in.
“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” Joan Ryan
