Grief is everything we think and feel inside our soul whenever we realize that anything that gives our life meaning is threatened or harmed. Grief can come in the form of shock, disbelief, or worrying about the future. Fear tends to make us fell anger, guilt, sadness, and loneliness.
The world’s foremost expert on grief, David Kessler, says that it is absurd to think we shouldn’t feel grief during this pandemic. We must allow ourselves to grieve! Kessler explains that we must understand the classic five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance), and he added a sixth stage of grief (finding meaning). He explains how we can apply and adopt them to manage anxiety. By finding meaning, we become stronger. He also states that the stages of grief don’t always occur in a linear order. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.
What we know for sure is that there’s denial: Oh, we won’t get hit by this virus. Then anger comes along: You’re making me stay home. We start bargaining too: Okay, so if I stay home for two weeks then everything will be fine? Sadness too: Will this ever end? And finally comes acceptance: This is real. I need to figure out how to move forward. Acceptance makes us feel empowered, that’s where your power come from.
During this pandemic, we aren’t only being infected by a virus, but with grief too. As this virus spreads across the globe, the whole world is working together to “flatten the curve”. These new rules and restrictions are getting more severe day by day. Though we know that this change is temporary, it just doesn’t feel this way. We have lost any sense of normalcy; we have lost social connections and we are burdened by a huge economic toll. As we are hit by this new reality, we find the world collectively grieving.
We’re not used to the world feeling a collective sense of grief on a micro and a macro level. The world is experiencing anticipatory grief as we feel uncertain and afraid of what the future has in store for us. Usually, this kind of grief is centered around the idea of death and the fear of losing our loved ones. It’s what we feel when we hear a storm something bad is about to happen. This virus is so confusing! In our minds we know something bad is happening out there, but we can’t see it. The whole world doesn’t feel safe anymore.
Today, most of the world is feeling sad and anxious. When we worry, it gets us thinking of the worst-case scenarios. The goal is to find a balance between what is really happening and the things we see.
Some techniques to make your grief less intense:
- Guilt only makes things worse.
- The best way to overcome sadness is to express your feelings. You can: scream, cry, sing, dance, paint or do so in any way that works for you.
- Do not neglect your health or yourself. There are people who love you and rely on you.
- Do not shut yourself out. Communication with your loved ones is essential.
- Try helping others; it spreads happiness.
Remember, all of this is temporary. Allow yourself to grieve and let your feelings move through you. It’s absurd to believe that we’re not supposed to feel this way right now! Cherish this time with your loved ones and focus on turning your emotions into positive actions. Remember your values, renew them, cherish them, and take advantage of this time to work on yourself and your health so that whenever life goes back to normal, you’ll have a better new normal.
