The Light of Relationships

by Safia Al-Saad

I believe that our hearts are the source of our power. We will feel blue and disconnected if our heart is burdened and heavy. The key word here is disconnected; disconnected from ourselves and the world around us. In other words, we will live in isolation and swim with a low frequency of emotions such as hopelessness, fear, and frustration. Consequently, our power will fade away.

On the other hand, if we are light-hearted, we will connect to ourselves and the world. We will shine our light. We will vibrate higher with the frequency of courage, engagement, innovation, and synchronicity. Hence, our power will be vibrant.

So how do we keep our hearts healthy? The answer to this question is illustrated in the network of our relationships.
According to the Oxford dictionary, a relationship is defined as “the state of being connected.”

Connection is at the heart of our relationships. Our connection is the glue that keeps us whole and integrated. Dr. Daniel Seigel, a psychotherapist and the Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, says that the journey of relationships, through which we are connected as human beings, starts earlier than we could possibly imagine. The connection is initiated as soon as one of a trillion sperms connects to a unique egg to form our body in the womb. Our network of connections starts to amplify bit by bit as soon as we are born. As per Abraham Maslow’s theory of Human Motivation, our body starts to communicate its needs starting from the basic needs of hunger all the way through love, belonging, and self-actualization.

Our relationships are at the heart of human needs. It is multidimensional, starting from the relationship with ourselves, others, the environment, and, eventually, the universe. At the core of this network of relationships is the connection to ourselves through which we mirror our self-connection to others.

I believe we are responsible for our world. This responsibility starts with us; how are we connected to ourselves? Are we observing our feelings? What are these feelings communicating to us? Sadness could express loneliness, and frustration could indicate a yearning to move on. Fear could be telling us that we are feeling small. As Joseph F. Newton Men said, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

Then what is our responsibility?

Our responsibility is to observe where we stand and take charge of the first step toward what we need to shine our light. A healthy approach toward the relationship with the self is a holistic approach. We need to feed our brain with a healthy brain diet. One of my favorite platters is the Healthy Mind Platter, as illustrated in the diagram below.



As seen in the diagram, connecting time is one of the main dishes on this Healthy Mind Platter. Dr. Daniel Seigel says, “When we connect with other people, ideally in person, and when we take time to appreciate our connection to the natural world around us, we activate and reinforce the brain’s relational circuitry.”


Yet as you see above, most platter dishes relate to our relationship with ourselves. When we sleep, we recharge; when we work out, we connect with our body; when we focus, we connect with our brain. When we listen in silence to our internal voice, we communicate with our feelings; when we disconnect during a vacation, we give our brain a break. Finally, when we have some fun through playfulness, we connect with our inner child and activate the learning and creativity mode.

How would you imagine your heart status when you feed your brain with these healthy platter activities? It would be the illuminated heart. Your heart’s light will shine through your relationship network. You will become the light of relationships. Rumi beautify says, “There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don’t you?”

With our illuminated hearts, we will build bridges between us and others. We will see different perspectives, listen wholeheartedly to everyone’s story, appreciate small things, create a circle of love, and eventually connect.

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